LEARNING TO LOVE LIKE GOD
A Christian Workshop for Building Love-Based Relationships
Theme:
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.” — 1 John 4:7
Purpose of the Workshop
God does not merely command us to love. God first loves us and then teaches us how to love.
Many people have learned a version of love based on performance, fear, control, rejection, anger, selfishness, or conditional acceptance. Scripture presents something different.
God’s love is patient, sacrificial, forgiving, truthful, compassionate, faithful, and active.
The purpose of this workshop is to help participants:
- Understand God’s love.
- Receive God’s love personally.
- Identify unhealthy ways they have learned to give or receive love.
- Learn the biblical characteristics of love.
- Practice forgiveness, patience, kindness, and compassion.
- Develop healthier relationships.
- Love difficult people without abandoning healthy boundaries.
- Make love a daily way of life.
SESSION 1 — LOVE BEGINS WITH GOD
Key Scripture
1 John 4:19: “We love because he first loved us.”
Before we can understand how God wants us to love other people, we need to understand how God loves us.
Christian love does not begin with trying harder to become a loving person. It begins with receiving the love God has already offered.
God knows our failures, weaknesses, fears, regrets, and sins—and still reaches toward us.
Teaching Point
We learn to love by first allowing ourselves to be loved by God.
Exercise — Am I Loved?
Complete these statements:
I find it easiest to believe God loves me when __________________________.
I find it hardest to believe God loves me when _________________________.
Growing up, I learned that love meant __________________________________.
The greatest thing preventing me from receiving love is _________________.
Discussion
What would change in your life if you truly believed that you were deeply loved by God?
SESSION 2 — GOD DEMONSTRATES HIS LOVE
Key Scripture
Romans 5:8: God demonstrates His love toward us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
John 3:16: God loved the world so greatly that He gave His Son.
God’s love is not merely something God says.
God’s love acts.
God gave.
Christ served.
Christ forgave.
Christ sacrificed.
Christ showed compassion.
Exercise — Love Is an Action
Write three ways someone has demonstrated genuine love toward you:
Now write three practical ways you can demonstrate love this week:
Challenge
Don’t merely tell someone you love them. Show them.
SESSION 3 — LOVE GOD FIRST
Key Scripture
Matthew 22:37-39
Jesus taught us to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind and to love our neighbor as ourselves.
Our relationship with God becomes the foundation from which our relationships with other people grow.
Exercise — My Relationship With God
Rate each area from 1–10:
Prayer: ______
Trusting God: ______
Receiving God’s love: ______
Obeying God: ______
Thankfulness: ______
Worship: ______
Forgiving others: ______
Loving others: ______
Discussion
Where do you most want your relationship with God to grow?
SESSION 4 — LOVE IS PATIENT
Key Scripture
1 Corinthians 13:4: “Love is patient.”
Patience means giving another person room to grow.
People will disappoint us. They will misunderstand us. They may move more slowly than we want.
Love does not demand instant perfection.
Exercise — My Patience Test
Who tests my patience most?
What behavior frustrates me?
How do I normally react?
What would a loving response look like?
Weekly Challenge
When irritated, stop before responding and ask:
“How can I respond with love rather than simply react to my feelings?”
SESSION 5 — LOVE IS KIND
Key Scripture
1 Corinthians 13:4: “Love is kind.”
Kindness is love made visible through our behavior.
A loving person learns to ask:
“What does this person need from me right now?”
It might be encouragement.
It might be listening.
It might be help.
It might be patience.
It might simply be our presence.
Exercise — Seven Days of Kindness
Choose one act of kindness each day this week.
Day 1: __________________________
Day 2: __________________________
Day 3: __________________________
Day 4: __________________________
Day 5: __________________________
Day 6: __________________________
Day 7: __________________________
SESSION 6 — LOVE IS NOT SELF-SEEKING
Key Scripture
1 Corinthians 13:5: Love “is not self-seeking.”
Self-centered relationships continually ask:
“What am I getting?”
Love-based relationships also ask:
“What am I giving?”
Biblical love does not mean ignoring our legitimate needs. It means we stop treating relationships as transactions where everything revolves around ourselves.
Exercise — From Taking to Giving
Ask yourself:
What do I expect other people to give me?
What do I regularly give them?
Where have I become selfish?
What could I begin giving without expecting repayment?
SESSION 7 — LOVE CONTROLS ANGER
Key Scriptures
1 Corinthians 13:5: Love “is not easily angered.”
James 1:19: Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
Anger often becomes destructive when we stop listening and start attacking.
The Loving Response
When conflict begins:
STOP → LISTEN → UNDERSTAND → PRAY → RESPOND
Instead of saying:
“You always…”
“You never…”
“You make me…”
Try:
“I felt hurt when…”
“Help me understand…”
“What did you need from me?”
“How can we solve this together?”
Exercise
Think about your last serious disagreement.
What happened?
What did you say?
What could you have said differently?
SESSION 8 — LOVE DOESN’T KEEP SCORE
Key Scripture
1 Corinthians 13:5: Love “keeps no record of wrongs.”
Many relationships become prisons filled with old offenses.
Every new argument becomes connected to ten previous arguments.
Forgiveness does not mean pretending something didn’t happen.
It does not necessarily mean immediately restoring trust.
It means refusing to use another person’s past continually as a weapon.
Exercise — Releasing the Record
What hurt am I still carrying?
Who hurt me?
What am I afraid will happen if I forgive?
What would I like to surrender to God?
Prayer
“God, help me release the bitterness I have carried. Give me wisdom concerning this relationship and teach me to forgive without abandoning truth, wisdom, or healthy boundaries.”
SESSION 9 — LOVE TELLS THE TRUTH
Key Scripture
Ephesians 4:15: Speak the truth in love.
Biblical love is not pretending everything is fine.
Sometimes love says:
“That hurt me.”
“This needs to change.”
“I was wrong.”
“I need help.”
“I forgive you.”
“I cannot participate in this behavior.”
A healthy relationship needs both:
LOVE + TRUTH
Truth without love can become cruelty.
Love without truth can become enabling.
Truth spoken in love can produce healing.
Exercise — A Conversation I Need to Have
Person: _______________________________________
What needs to be said?
What is my goal?
How can I communicate it without attacking?
SESSION 10 — LOVE FORGIVES
Key Scripture
Colossians 3:13: Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Forgiveness is one of Christianity’s most challenging teachings because forgiveness becomes hardest precisely when it becomes most necessary.
Forgiveness does not call evil good.
It does not require remaining in an unsafe situation.
It does not eliminate consequences.
It releases our personal demand for revenge and places judgment in God’s hands.
Exercise — The Forgiveness Prayer
Write the person’s name:
Write what happened:
Write what you lost because of it:
Then pray:
“God, You know what happened and how it affected me. I give this hurt to You. Help me forgive as You have forgiven me. Give me wisdom about what reconciliation, boundaries, and healing should look like.”
SESSION 11 — LOVE YOUR ENEMIES
Key Scripture
Matthew 5:44: Jesus teaches His followers to love their enemies and pray for those who persecute them.
This may be one of Jesus’ most radical teachings.
We naturally love people who love us.
Christ calls us to something greater.
Loving an enemy doesn’t mean trusting dangerous people or allowing abuse.
It means refusing to let hatred transform us into the kind of person we oppose.
Exercise
Identify one difficult person.
What do you feel toward them?
What healthy boundary may be necessary?
Can you pray for them?
What would Christlike behavior toward them look like?
SESSION 12 — LOVE SERVES
Key Scripture
John 13:34-35
Jesus gave His followers a new command: love one another as He loved them.
Jesus demonstrated leadership through service.
Ask yourself:
Who can I serve?
Your spouse?
Children?
Parents?
Neighbor?
Church?
Community?
Someone lonely?
Someone struggling financially?
Someone who needs encouragement?
Exercise — My Love Mission
This week I will intentionally serve:
I will serve them by:
I will do it by:
THE LOVE INVENTORY
Use 1–5 to evaluate yourself.
1 = I struggle greatly with this.
5 = This regularly describes me.
| Biblical Quality | Score |
|---|---|
| I am patient. | |
| ___ | I am kind. |
| ___ | I am not controlled by jealousy. |
| ___ | I am humble. |
| ___ | I respect others. |
| ___ | I am not selfish. |
| ___ | I control my anger. |
| ___ | I don’t continually bring up past wrongs. |
| ___ | I value truth. |
| ___ | I protect others. |
| ___ | I maintain hope. |
| ___ | I persevere through difficulties. |
| ___ | I forgive. |
| ___ | I serve others. |
| ___ | I pray for difficult people. |
| ___ |
Reflection
My three strongest areas are:
The three areas God may be asking me to strengthen are:
THE 10 HABITS OF A LOVE-BASED LIFE
1. RECEIVE LOVE
Allow yourself to receive God’s love.
2. LOVE GOD
Develop your relationship with God through prayer, worship, Scripture, and obedience.
3. LOVE YOURSELF WITH HUMILITY
Recognize that your life has value because God loves you.
4. LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR
Treat people with dignity, kindness, and compassion.
5. LISTEN BEFORE REACTING
Seek understanding before defending yourself.
6. FORGIVE
Refuse to build your identity around past offenses.
7. SPEAK TRUTH WITH LOVE
Be honest without becoming destructive.
8. SERVE
Look for opportunities to meet the needs of others.
9. PRACTICE LOVE WHEN IT IS DIFFICULT
Love becomes most powerful when kindness costs us something.
10. LOVE DAILY
Don’t wait until you feel loving.
Choose loving actions every day.
GROUP EXERCISE — WHAT WOULD LOVE DO?
Read each situation and discuss how someone following Christ could respond.
Situation 1:
Your spouse says something hurtful during an argument.
What would love do?
Situation 2:
A family member repeatedly disappoints you.
What would love do?
Situation 3:
Someone criticizes you unfairly.
What would love do?
Situation 4:
A friend needs help when you are already busy.
What would love do?
Situation 5:
Someone has seriously hurt you and asks forgiveness.
What would love, truth, wisdom, forgiveness, and healthy boundaries look like together?
THE 30-DAY LOVE CHALLENGE
For the next 30 days, intentionally practice one loving action every day.
Each morning pray:
“God, show me someone I can love today.”
Each evening ask:
Who did I encourage?
Who did I listen to?
Who did I forgive?
Who did I help?
Did my words build people up or tear them down?
Did someone experience God’s love through me today?
PERSONAL COMMITMENT
Today I choose to make love more than an emotion.
I choose to receive God’s love.
I choose patience over irritation.
I choose kindness over cruelty.
I choose humility over pride.
I choose listening over attacking.
I choose forgiveness over bitterness.
I choose truth over deception.
I choose service over selfishness.
I choose reconciliation when it is healthy and possible.
I choose wise boundaries when they are necessary.
I choose to love because God first loved me.
My Personal Love Commitment
The relationship in which I most want to demonstrate God’s love is:
The behavior I most need God to change in me is:
The loving action I will begin today is:
Signature: ______________________________
Date: __________________
CLOSING MESSAGE FOR THE LEADER
The goal of the Christian life is not simply to know more about love.
The goal is to become more loving.
People may forget our lessons.
They may forget our sermons.
They may forget our arguments.
But they will remember how we treated them.
Jesus said that His followers would be recognized by their love for one another.
Therefore, our prayer should become:
“Father, teach me to receive Your love so completely that Your love begins flowing through me into the lives of others.”
When God’s love changes the way we speak, forgive, listen, serve, respond to conflict, treat strangers, love our families, and even respond to enemies, Christianity becomes something people can see.
RECEIVE HIS LOVE.
LIVE HIS LOVE.
GIVE HIS LOVE.